There’s nothing on investigating this new angles of your sexuality which is risky into the really-being. Where there is the potential for be concerned, for you and this lady, is when you’re not open along with your pal from the for which you can be found in their journey. You don’t have to arrived at a powerful conclusion how you select before you could keep in touch with the girl, in case she does approach you stating “ok, ready to go out now” you should be sincere. Give the girl that you want to date her, you defined as gay, however, that you will be attempting to discuss their sex so much more, and you also wanted the girl to be aware of you to. (Huge caveat: if you were to think the woman is perhaps not a secure person to divulge one to element of you to ultimately, usually do not. And in addition consider what meaning when it comes to matchmaking this lady.)
As well, one sense of hiding the term otherwise their records away from a companion are sporting, and maybe simply take a cost to your one relationships that occurs, because it can do a sense of “some thing are upwards, however, no body tend to speak about it
To be obvious, I don’t think that queer everyone is needed to quickly disclose its identity otherwise record so you’re able to somebody in order to have proper dating. I am rendering it idea to you since the, even in the event it sounds simple written down, you may find that workouts how you identify explanations an effective lot of difficult attitude. While you are needing to hide those people thoughts regarding individual you might be matchmaking, it will elevate pressure for you. “
I can declare that some of this is simply credit problems. Their friend is obviously looking getting together with your, generally seems to as if you, features also considered matchmaking your. However, she has not in reality wanted to go out you. The woman “not even” may mean “not ever.” That’s those types of difficult something, as on one-hand it’s good to simply take some one during the their 
phrase. However, on the other, women can be constantly socialized to offer “flaccid no’s” whenever bringing down dates, and you can “not even” is perhaps one particular no’s. In the event the both of you is relatives, she may not want so you’re able to jeopardize their friendship by-turning your off yourself. If it happens to be the actual situation, it is essential to consult with you to ultimately make sure that you may be okay that have an effective platonic experience of the woman, as opposed to a relationship where you’re officially members of the family however is always privately hoping to become more than one to.
Otherwise become actually relationship, that does not mean your notice-exploration your feelings on her behalf caused are a pity. She started in you questions relating to their title, and dealing away responses (otherwise partial answers) to them could help discover their identity a little greatest.
If that’s the case, and you may she does approach you in a few months and you may wishes thus far, I encourage you to do the possibility and watch where a beneficial connection together with her happens. It may be which you a couple of find that you will be a great fit. Possibly there are certainly you make better family relations than simply lovers. Or you will find you to relationship ladies, even extremely super rad people, is not for your. As long as you’re open collectively and prepared to become true to your self (whichever one worry about can be), this can be a relationship worthy of exploring.
But, there is certainly the same options one she’s wanting relationships your, and is simply not in the spot to end up being matchmaking individuals at this time
The other component that may help your work through exactly how your own ideas fit with the name is: could you be attracted to your own buddy? It sounds as if you come from your dysfunction out-of their. Could you feel like you should do horny some thing that have this lady? Do contemplating their arouse ideas like those people you have got after you view pornography otherwise see a guy do you believe are sensuous? Just remember that , those wants age as your destination to guys, but see if these include truth be told there in one setting or some other. When they perhaps not, do you really think she’s awesome chill and extremely, nevertheless are not keen on her really? Again, there are not any proper approaches to people inquiries, but asking him or her may help you get a better knowledge of what’s happening on your own heart and you may direct (and you may pants).